Relationship Quiz: How Healthy Is Yours?
20 questions across communication, conflict, autonomy, sex. Not a diagnosis.
The relationship quiz evaluates the health of your current romantic relationship across five dimensions: communication quality, conflict resolution, autonomy and interdependence, sexual satisfaction, and alignment on long-term goals. Based loosely on Gottman's research.
12 questions · 5 min · press A, B, C, or D
Built on research. With a dash of irreverence.
This quiz maps across five evidence-based dimensions of relationship health — communication, conflict resolution, autonomy, sexual satisfaction, and alignment on goals. It's borrowed from research by John Gottman and others who study what actually predicts whether couples stay together and whether they're satisfied. This isn't a diagnosis, but your pattern across 12 behavioral questions should tell you something honest about how you're functioning as a unit.
Gottman-inspired signals
Questions track the specific behaviors Gottman identified as predictive: how you repair after conflict, whether you can listen without defensiveness, your ability to balance togetherness and independence.
Avoidance vs. anxiety patterns
Attachment research shows couples often split into roles. One person pursues connection while the other withdraws, or both avoid. These patterns are stable but rarely satisfying on their own.
What gets measured
We're not asking you to rate your love. We're asking what actually happens in moments of conflict, vulnerability, and togetherness — the real indicators of relationship health.
Psychology writer · Identity & Relationships
Frequently asked
What if my partner and I would answer these questions completely differently?
That's normal. If one of you is secure and the other anxious, the relationship is often strained because you have different needs. Consider taking it together and seeing where you actually disagree — that gap is usually the real work. A therapist can help you understand if those differences are workable or if they're incompatibility.
Can I really assess my relationship health with a quiz?
Not perfectly. This quiz identifies patterns, not diagnoses. If you score 'Conflicted & Stuck,' that's meaningful — it suggests you might benefit from couples therapy. If you're secure, that doesn't mean the relationship is perfect, just that the foundation is there. Use this as a starting point for conversations, not the final word.
What does 'secure' actually mean in relationships?
In attachment theory, secure people can handle conflict without attacking or withdrawing, ask for what they need directly, and tolerate their partner's independence. They don't need constant reassurance but also don't avoid intimacy. Secure people aren't free of disagreement — they just handle it differently.
Is it possible to move from avoidant or anxious to secure?
Yes, but it takes awareness and usually work. Many people are anxious or avoidant because of earlier relationship patterns, and you can rewire that over time. The best predictor of change is whether both partners want it and are willing to do the unglamorous work of learning to communicate differently.
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